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Dear Editor,

Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle ~ Plato.

When one practices mindfulness, one practices feeling the body as it experiences emotions. Emotions are felt in its most miniscule form. Anxiety, for example, is a very uncomfortable emotion to bear; it is also a precursor to rage. Any outburst of a raging scene starts with the seed of anxiety, so fear.

In certain societies, rage is naturally accepted as response and reaction to situations that arise. Many children live with rage as a normal event in their daily lives. I have had an opportunity these last years to sit with some children exposed to rage on a consistent basis and learned a lot about and consequences for their wellbeing. Rage is all consuming for those who have not been taught self-regulating techniques.

I have written about Dr. Meaney, the biologist and his research of skittish and excitable lab rats before. The rats that were more self-secured were groomed and licked (rat version of being hugged, kissed and touched) often after birth until a biological reaction, through hormones and neurotransmitters allowed the rat pups to build an inner resistance to stress. The rat pups that had been exposed to anxiety riddled parenting and less licking and grooming (more shouting, beating and getting on) fared far worse because of the stress hormone built up in their system. Their modus was set for disruption and eventually a situation that would allow them to vent rage and then so to speak calm.

The catch though is it takes hours and sometimes a full day for these hormones and neurotransmitters to clear out of the biological system of some children. The calm is never really calm; any new sleight may provoke (build on) what was already there. The tantrums that most children will display are the opportunities for parents or other adults to teach children how to self-soothe and self-regulate. If it doesn't happen, then the child does not miraculously grow out of it. If the parent is him/herself a hell-raiser, also a victim of his own rage, lacking in self-awareness they have just that to offer; a role model of rage.

Raging makes a person feel powerless. The unpredictability of when and what will make you lose it is always possible. The children seem to lose control of who they are, it is a scary place to be, many children feel like victims to their rage. The destabilizing effect tears away at the trust the child has on his/herself. The child's body becomes an unsafe place. Adults, who lack understanding and self-awareness and empathy, aggravate situations for many children during and after a raging episode.

The moody and silent period, usually filled with shame that follows after, is a moment to address these explosions. Not with further shaming and yelling tactics but with a conversation on inner reflection and for older kids tools to practice self-control. The brain area called the Prefrontal Cortex is key in keeping raging at bay.

In their research paper, which almost all neuroscientists are echoing, Dr. Wen-Jun Gao*, Huai-Xing Wang, Melissa A. Snyder and Yan-Chun Li Department of Neurobiology and Anatomy, Drexel University College of Medicine, Philadelphia USA ~ quote "The Prefrontal Cortex has been the focus of considerable scientific investigation, owing in part to the growing recognition that dysfunction of this region and related networks underlies many of the cognitive and behavioural disturbances associated with neuropsychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), drug addiction, autism, and depression. – The PFC is located right under your forehead.

There lie the brakes to slow things down, to consider, to override impulses. It is the least developed in children and seems to be damaged or unused in many psychiatric disorders. Many children with rage will inherit the brain structure from families, add the environment whether patient and caring or neglectful and abusive; then add the child's emotional style and we get the story of that child's ability to deal with anger and frustration. The overall message in the society also does much to influence how raging is perceived.

At the last spelling bee the words moral and raise came up and both times the moderator was asked to use these words in a sentence. Moderator; "many children lack morals today." "It is difficult to raise children these days." Rhoda Arrindell was the moderator, and I saw that she too is concerned with the children's wellbeing. It must be on our minds more often that we are aware of. To give children a real chance from becoming raging adults, we need to look at the ways we address our rage and see what we model for them and to provide environments and tools of self-reflection.

In mindless raging moments, hands are around throats, chairs fly into legs, students are hung over balconies, teachers man-handle and disdain children. Belts are handed to caretakers in the classroom to shame and disgrace the child in a public viewing. Children engage in combat with teachers, parents man-handle teachers in the presence of their children. It is madness. For the children that are most susceptible to raging the more exposure to these high filled drama scenes the more, they are reaffirming the behaviour. It's time to think about where these children have got all this rage.

Debbie Zwanikken